The Bathroom.

In my experience being in a relationship with someone is like starting out with a fresh bathroom somebody else has furnished.

First you try to explore; see what all the fuzz is about, try those weird tubes of WTF in the cabinet; and even asks for permission to sit on the toilet.

Then as time progresses the bathroom starts to smell; the tiles get dirty and what once was beautiful and shiny is now turning dull and grey.

Suddenly you don't care about the poop that missed the target, or the putrid smell of acid vomit on the mirror; a reflection of what you never thought you would be.

Over time the new stains grows on top of the old shit; which has become the new floor and walls - so engraved in the daily markings of the bathroom that you can't even fathom that it
used to be something differently; it just is what it is; you adapt.

The bathroom is now filled with all sorts of rips and cracks to the point of never being able to fully heal; everywhere there are cracks, bruises and actual holes where once fine marble existed.

The air is getting denser and denser to the point of suffocating; still you refuse to take caution and put on a safety mask; after all it's just a bathroom - right?

You fight and claw through the ever-shifting darkness of light blinding your eyes from seeing anything, but whatever is right inside your tunnel-vision.

Each day a battle to survive - making it harder and harder to stay - still you stay and when you do run you never run far; the allure of just finding the right vent, the correct temperature; the missing link
always bringing you back to the point of origin.

I mean, it still is just a bathroom; why should it be so hard? It must be something you are doing wrong; right? Just one tile moved out of place by accident, if - if only you could find it, it's so simple; right? Just a little push in the right direction and then eeeeverything will be fine!

Time passes, time freezes, the circle of knowledge evolves from nothing into more nothingness.

Your olfactory system starts to heightened it sense; searching, analyzing, nostrils vibrating; catching that funny smell, just like what comes right before a storm is to arrive; the tension of electrons buzzing, the sound of nervous birds chattering; trees bracing for impact, the very sky inside the room wobbling.

BRAAWWWWWKKKKKKKK! STRIKE ONE hits you right in the gut! BRAAAAAAAAWK! STRIKE TWO barely misses your head - you fall down and get up to look the very demon that was the floor rise up beneath the ashes of condensed shit as the illusion of reality starts to bend; to crack - as if it is ready to burst at any moment; you grip yourself has hard as you can; sheltering yourself for what you now know is to come; the dreaded moment; the one you've known always comes at the conclusion of war - and with it the shrieking sound of silence in the eye of the storm.

Then, THEN strikes the earth-shattering lightning one final time; as if the very rupture of time and space is ripping the actual foundation the room is built upon inside-out.

And all you are left with is broken pieces of ancient shit coming up to the surface in an endless stream of moments of revelation.

Layer by layer; tile by tile; crack by crack; the burning venom of hindsight sizzles through your veins.

Like pulsing magmatic needles it punctures the very foundation of your inner self.

Thought by thought, feeling by feeling is ripped apart as you see the shadow of what once was pure standing in front of you.

Blood dripping along it's spine, lumps of dark clotted blood falling from it's mouth; venom pulsing through its eyes.

No carpet to cover it's actual representation this time; a one-time only performance in all honesty, as the very core of it's being stand before you for the first time; axe in hand.

Then you look in the mirror and see your own faltered skin, blistered face and cracked bones.

Suddenly at that moment; when the agony over your own failing are at its highest; you grip your head in disbelief as the last illusion of the evil that stands before you falls down.

Now only the shell of a squirming small creature remains - trying desperately to blind you with their spell so you again will fall into their trap and not see and acknowledge the awful truth.

That people are afraid, so very afraid, so goddamn incredibly afraid of being wrong that they would rather live in their own excrement's and pretend it's not there; than take responsibility for it.

Even if that means drowning everyone around themselves in it and wiping themselves off on the nearest bystander; never surrendering to the actual fact that they themselves created it in the first place.

See the bathroom for what it is; a place where even the most fragile of things are shared with others, a place for both rest, salvation and contemplation; for being alone and together.

What you leave behind is for others to step on and take the blame for by the next person in line; even though it was not their fault.

By taking responsibility right away no one gets judged for something they did not create.

So always remember this:

One shit is easy to clean when it's fresh.
An empire of old dirt on the other hand - might just prove uncleansable.

Do you dare risk it?

Fight for your right to...

What makes us who we are, who decides who we are going to be. Is it ourselves that forces us into thinking and acting the way we do. That deep down no matter what the situation we have decided it to be that way; ourselves?

That there really isn't any destined way preset in our minds; that in both conscienses we have control?

Decisions are a powerful thing, many people say that you really have to be a cynic to make decisions that affect a lot of people; let's say in corporate management. But do you really have to, or have they just decided deep down that won't let it affect them. That their desires are more important than feeling sorry for letting 1000 people go. History will show you that many of them weren't; heck you can just read the suicide statistics for corporate leaders.

So, how do we make these deep decisions, and how can we control them? Why is it so easy to tell someone dealing with depression to just snap out of it; and why don't they? Because everyone who has dealt with it, either themselves or someone close know that the moment they are out of it; it feels just like that - a snap of fingers. Doesn't matter if it lasted for 2 weeks, a month, two years or ten years...the exact moment it releases its grip is black and white to the moment before.

What about those of us who are chronically depressed, where there is no fix to the cause of it. Because all feelings and emotions are chemical processes (the very reason why drugs and narcotics make you feel different) in your body and brain. If you have to live with unstable chemical functions you will always have to deal with illogical reasoning and mood changes. This makes you depressed. There is no way around it.

Can they also decide to ignore it; to tell themselves so hard that there is no spoon - and believe it? Even though it's being forcefed from inside; all the little voices talking about spoons, showing it, feeling it, hitting you with it....look a spoon!!!

How to separate yourself from something in your brain you can't run from. No matter how many changes and places you go to, your brain will follow you. We fill it with alcohol and other substances, with insane amounts of sleep. Hell psychiatric institutions are so helpless they just drug their patients; making them more sick and giving them NO CHANCE AT ALL to recover. All because the people administering it don't care to know why they are ill, why they are depressed. They miss the most important fact of it all - the same chemicals making their patients depressed are the ones that can be used to free them.

All of us have something that makes us release happy chemicals, dopamin enticers. It's just that we have to fight Mr Serotonin, which constantly gives us challenges and unstable conditions. The trick is never to inject what we need, but to build an environment that tricks the mind to do it on its own. In healthy people these levels are controlled naturally; but when you are sick either from life treating you bad or for many of us; being born with unstable levels...this proves to be insanely difficult.

Often the latter case is a deadly circle worsening the problem more for each day; especially growing up. We hear so much talk about kids being mean to eachother; but no, kids learn from their parents; they learn to react to different people with disgust and ignorance; because the adults they trust the most do it. Why are your mouth twitching; why are you scratching yourself three times in the same spot; why are you walking funny, why are you so strange? Why are you not normal?

Don't pick all these questions with a sarcastic tone; why don't be a friend instead; why not be inclusive, than exclude - why be afraid?

How to cope with exclusion from the outside world, when your own brain excludes you from your own control? Most people have a hard time understanding what its like to have messages in your brain forcing you to do things you don't want to or that are meaningless at mental gunpoint.
How to constantly fight this to be "normal"; to fit in; to not hurt other or be control freaks. You can have all the heart in the world and still hurt the ones you love the most; because you care so much it makes your condition worse. Because the irony of life gives you cards that forces you to be more unstable when good happens than bad; because the good things matter more and releases higher doses of chemicals. A never-ending cycle..

How can the world of "normal" people understand what this concept does to oneself; what kind of torture it really is? Most people can't fathom it, how can they, they only see actions, what you can point a finger on and say "this and this happened to me" to... But when the difficult pickle is how your brain works and not what life gives you; how do you explain that the ones you really won't to understand. To the ones that matter. Who only sees depression and not the cause.

A person can be resolute and goal focused for only so long; in the end if he doesn't manage to fix his brain enough, the resolution will fade, the will to go on diminish and the depression slowly winning more and more ground. We all have limits to where you can push yourself, think of it as a freshly washed plate as hot as steaming coal - try to hold it - and telling yourself it will soon get colder - you just have to hold on a little more, just a little more, it will soon go over...only it never does, the hotness just keeps going on. You can make adjustments, change hands and fingers, but never drop it. As life goes on you suddenly have more than one plate at the same time; balancing the heat; some fingers are now burnt hard enough; hardened from the pressure; no longer feeling anything. Dead fingers.

How long can you keep it going until all fingers are burnt and no sensations are left. Maybe you will for a brief moment be happy that you know can hold the hot plates forever; until you realize that by doing so - you don't see any good, nothing gives you anything, the food on the plate taste nothing. But you...you can sure hold the plates. Congratulations...on accomplishing...nothing.

That is why it is so damn important to show understanding, to care, to try and help what causes the disturbance; try to find ways to handle it, maybe some of the plates you can share? Maybe you can find cold water to cool one or more down. Maybe even some of them you manage to destroy with support from someone that understands.

But never all of them.

The question still remains; how do you keep up the spirit to go on and on when you know some of the plates will never stop burning you from the inside and out - no matter how hard you run or smash you hands into the wall?

Alter; begin; end - turn the wheel!

As we wander through hurdle after hurdle in our lives, everything evolves and changes around us. One drop of water missing the ocean, two sculptures losing its vanity - decaying; living beings dying so a new seed can be born somewhere else. The wheel keeps on turning and turning.

But what is time, what is change really, are we anything significant at all in the whole of everything? Do we matter in the great scheme of things?

Some of us are born thinkers - what if I do this, what if I do that, why did that happen; others with great worries who rarely dare to do anything in fear of hurting someone or something; and most of all themselves. The most lucky or unfortunate of us are born as both. I am both.

Time is not linear, time is only what we perceive it as; think about how long 5 years is. If you think in terms of a professional sports career it's not that very long, but if you live in total uncertainty and in some kind of mental hell where your whole life plan changes from day to day; five years is extremely long. It's all about perspective, events and state of mind. A patient with terminal cancer might have their happiest five years while being ill, simultaneously a 25 year old might have his worst at the peak of his physical health.

Why?

The answer is state of mind. We as products of our life experiences return the sum of time by dividing it into blocks of hope, accomplishments, ideals and damages along the way. Our mind and soul defines how we think and act, much more than what we are formed into being by life itself. In large parts we make our own hell and glory.

Our mind is vast, but our soul is endless. Together it performs an incredibly strong chain that can be used as a tool for almost anything in life and beyond.

This is why Helen Keller could have a happy and rich life so many dream about while being deprived of almost all exterior senses except the most important ones; she could think and feel. She was in control of her own wishes and so strongly wanted to communicate that she single-handledly willed herself the power to do it. Never underestimate the power of true belief.

Progress is not made by giving in to systems that fails; but giving your mind the room to be yours.

Most of us fail at doing this; we are discouraged by others, wounded by past experiences, lost in our own head - trying to figure out where to find the numbers in 1 + 1 = 2.

In reality the answers are already there from the start, in sorrow and health, in good or bad, till death do us apart. Where mind and soul become one entity; free of body; one true spirit - floating above.

Most people will not agree to this, saying it is wishful thinking; but is it? If you take a few moments and rethink your life and look at the things you have gotten; have they not been things you have wanted? No matter if they turned out to be bad for you or cause you pain. What you have felt the strongest for is usually what ends up in your path. I am no different. I wanted to be miserable, I wanted to fail - because I never believed I could succeed.

Of course, you cannot get everything you want, and you will not succeed everytime; sometimes your life has to go certain ways and in the process throw you bad cards. If handled wrong these cards will continue to stack up until you understand what you are missing; and choose to let go. For those of us that are chosen as leaders, as experienced souls - these tasks become increasingly more difficult to handle. Try to look at all the people you know, both close to you and people you know by reputation and actions.

What makes them who they are? Why are some of them more successful than others, more knowingly or seemlessly seems to grasp life at a higher level? It is not about intelligence or otherwordly skills; it is all about experience. They have done it before. Their soul is older than yours.

Don't cling to the rope when the horse throws you off, only a select few are able to jump back on and even fewer can stop the horse without falling off again; and again. How many times does it take to see that some battles are meant to be lost; meant to fail - so other things can happen?

Release.
Let go.
Go against your own stubborness.
Be your own ship's guide.

Fearlessly take your own wheel,
be your own dream,
stake the course,
steer your galloping horse.

Life is meant to be wild, uncertain and unkind.
Nothing is given, when the task is not self-driven.

Take, give, feel and scream,
strive, thrive, crave and unleash.

Hate, love, regret and repent,
forgive, believe, give in - don't fervent!

Sail through muddy water and back again,
bathe in cold rivers, embrace your shivers.
Push the envelope, but don't seal it with unscatched rope,
for letters closed to soon, will be returned to sender on first moon.

Time is now, time is then,
time is lost, time is given,
time always stands still,
but stop it never will.

Life is time,
time is life,
always turn the wheel,
because your soul - - will never leave.

The maturity of time.

People change. Everyone does - - all the time.

It's part of a normal process, a slow evolution as time passes by, moments come and go. As the butterfly spurs out from its larvae and flaps its wings for the first time - - so do we with small baby steps. We get up from the floor and learn to walk, talk, eat and sleep on our own. The difference is we get to think; to act based solely on rationale, to control our instincts; or ignore them as we see fit.

As the ignorant species we have become we think this is all good, superior; the better end of all living things. In ourselves we entrust the power to suppress all other living beings - - including our own. Our search for power is so darkly rooted in the soul of our ancestors that in the darkest period of our time we killed more people than were born. All the while calling it justice.

It's not about one individual making a change, its about whole segments of people blindly following a thread, never questioning its cause or standing up and fighting. No one asks anyone to go the distance alone, all that is asked is to be true to yourself, to not fall subject to society rather than own opinions.

This has never been more real than today. Today we get up and find ourselves standing in the middle of two Facebook pages, 14 Twitter updates, 20 tv channels, 4 million paper ads and 3 billion people pushing in different directions every day. And on top of that governments around the world feel we need to store all this information, on a misguided chance that it might lead to prosecutions of more "criminals". But what is more criminal than a democracy that is all about cohesion and not the rights of the people. How can one person make a change when your task is to fight against the opinion of a Facebook group of 20 million people.

How do we stay true to ourselves and realize that it is not the clothes we wear, the things we are born to be or the sex we have grown into that makes us who we are. It's the individual inside, each and everyone thinks for themselves. Why not use our thoughts as it is and abandon the search for something to follow. All religion is all about gaining followers, it's never about true belief. True belief of something stems from own experiences, not a written text. The flying spaghetti monster is as real as the divine trinity. If you tell a child to fly, he will fly. If you tell a priest the same, he will tell you only God can. Everyone can fly, its all about the willingness to try.

Follow yourself, your own thoughts, make yourself real.

Why is it that most people find it easier to follow an unproven truth based on vague descriptions and argue its validity over solid proof of its falseness?

Why is it that so many choose to believe that all women likes horses, plays with dolls and is all about feelings and never driven by sex, while men likes cars, action figures and are born to be tough soldiers with one thing on their minds?

Yes, it's in our instincts and all the scientist in the world agrees they have found brain patterns that support this, but they all neglect to include the fact that it all has to do with enticement. If you put boys in an environment where you are punished for crying; or told that playing with dolls is against the grain, against nature - - almost like a sin. They are bound to be pushed into one direction; society's direction - - only given one option.

All this will only lead to one thing; a misguided individual who will act upon this law until a painful realization comes to mind or death comes first.

A whole breed of shrinks have spent their lives trying to find out how bullying can be prevented. Instead of focusing on the real problem; changing limitation of choices, they are using countless hours of forced treatment on already lost cases.

For our society to mature, to go forward, rather than staying put or going backwards we have to let up on old meanings of how a person should be, on how a man / woman are. Give our child a chance to find himself / herself on their own, let them choose what they want to play with.

Don't stigmatize based on your opinions and cohere them into believing it as absolute truths.

Let ourselves win over old ideals, let us forget truths written in stone and rethink our world based on knowledge.

Turn off the TV, turn off the Internet and walk around in your own mind. See the world as it is, as it has become. Make a choice to acknowledge the fact that an individual is subject of its childhood and tell them everyday what they are today and not what they have been or could have been.

People change all the time, they just seldom realize it themselves. Encourage their own opinions and agree to disagree, rather than disagree to agree. Give everyone a new chance and always leave open the possibility that someone you got to know 5 years ago is different today. Just as you have evolved.

An old classmate might have been a jerk or someone you never got to know 10 years ago, but always give them a chance to show their inner self as they are now. Update your status quo, listen to their story and relearn your view of them, or they will never do the same with you.

Never forget that we all change at different paces. That the maturity of time goes at a steady pace and encompasses us all, young or old, white or black, man or woman.

Learn to fly on broken wings, and you will see that they are no longer broken.

Decayed, disillusional scrutiny.

A touch of ....

A touch of passion
...glowing through your hands,
warm, tender hands, stroking my hair.

Inconsistant muttering
...from crowded bystanders,
cold, jealous, penetrating laughter.

A truthful touch
...sneering through my mind,
emptiness, invisibility, no one there.

Acknowledgement
...finding its path,
denial,ignorance, entering its prime.

Survival
...the only chance,
nakedness, shivering, no shelter to find.

Mindless
...jumping to conclusions,
foolishly, frightening, keeping away!

Dirty
...within lies hope,
darkness, tranquility, six feet under.


Speilvåt sjelesynd.

Gående langs midjen av en uttørket ørken,
tenkende, strevende, blodtørstig.

Luftspeilingens håp stiger fra horisonten,
kallende, utstrekkende, falsk.

Vandrende langs midjen av en usynlig vei,
søkende, håpende, hengende i en tynn tråd.

Innsiden er varm, åpen og herlig,
usynlig for de fryktløse, inkluderende for de
sjanseløse.

Håpefull, stirrende, apatisk...misunnelig.
Egoistisk i sitt eget hode, gavmild, naiv og
ettertraktet av omverdenen.

Innlysende fakta - oppslukt av endeløs fornektelse,
utdeling av godene, sprengt mot muren - laget av
tårevåt fortapelse.

I sinnets indre hersker krigen,
krigens kjerne, en ensom sjel på vandring,
uten mål, i mordors indre.

Seier er umulig, remis det eneste alternativ,
sjelen evig fortapt, i våt aske.




-Øyvind.

Poetry for a weakened society.

21 years,
21 tears and 21 fears
my life is about to start,
yet it feels like the end.

Where were you my friend
when I was on the ground bleeding.
what happened to you when I opened up my heart
was it too much?
did I scare you away?

Or was it all a dream
Were you just my imagination?

21 years,
21 tears and 21 fears
I’m lying on the ground
waiting for my blood to run cold
my life has been sold; to the highest bidder
and death won.


(btw, the poem is a year old).


Here comes another one (its in Norwegian though, hard to translate poems)

Selvrefleksjon.

Et smil
rundt hvert hjørne
en tåre
aldri å se

Aldri
sur eller sint
alltid
glad og blid

Men
på innsiden er du kald men
samtidig i fyr og flamme
som en vulkan

Åpne
døren og slipp deg fri
la tankene fare
sinnet bevare

Fjern
din indre byrde
og smil på innsiden
også.

Legg
vekk stridsøksen
la deg selv
vinne

Hør
på hva jeg sier
for jeg er
deg.

Ditt
eget speilbilde.



-Øyvind

Another block in the code...

A new day, a new horizon is rising, I'm standing on top of the water looking forward into the hollow point where the bright shining ripples in the ocean meets the overwhelming sky. I'm floating completely still - frozen in time. At the same time there is a whole lot of commotion around me, people running all around, doing errands, talking, laughing - being alive. But to me, they are just fragments of time, shattered all around, like a photograph of a car speeding 200 miles an hour - the only thing visible is bright skid marks of light and color.

This is how my life feels right now, my mind is encapsulated inside itself, thinking, dreaming - being so close to something big, yet unattainable. Everything happens so fast, the impressions doesn't have time to sink in, just floating around trying to hold on - my semantic antennas are offline. That was until now, everything is coming to me, while I'm suspended in time, you could have screamed my name all you want, and I wouldn't have noticed it.

I'm overwhelmed by my own thoughts, I'm right here, at the perfect place, I'm at the top of my game, its almost as I can see the future, but not grasp it - just look, no touching. I know I will get there in time, patience is the key, but patience is a word that don't exist anymore - its lost in my need, my drive to complete my goal. I want it now.

The question is, how do you reprogram your own mind to forget everything you know is going to happen in 1, 2,3..etc.. years. How do you not care, and continue your life as before, if you suddenly knew for sure you would win the lottery, or something as big, in two years?

This is how I feel right now, I made the perfect choice, the study place, the apartment I moved into, friends I've made. Its all perfect. But nothing and nobody is perfect, thats the only true statement we can say for sure, but why do this feel so much like it, if its all fake?
I'm so close to success, yet its atleast three more years to go, can I fail anyways? Is it my fault the fact that I feel like I don't have to worry about anything, that everything will go along smoothly without trouble? Am I turning blind through my own self-righteous mind?

These questions keep going around in circles in my head, I'm too used to having something absolutely wrong in my life, having a goal to break out of the vicious circle I was living in. But now as I'm so close to finally breaking free, to finally being me, and not a copycat or trapped inside something else. I'm actually too afraid to acknowledge this fact, that I'm starting to force myself into failure, just to get back into familiar parts.

My goals have always been, to have success by making use of my intellect - to creatively use my abilities to create something new, productive to our society. Of course this will be of commercial use, but I don't want to become a mediaperson, I know by myself I won't cope with it. But at the same time, I'm always striving to be perfect, anything less doesn't matter. Everything below my prestated evaluation of my potential will be a failure. If I think I can make 1 million in a month and make only 900 000 USD, its a failure. If I think I can get an A on a study project and end up with a B+, I might as well have gotten an E, because I failed myself anyway.

Is this the pivotal point that is going to make me fail and kill my self-esteem?

In many ways I live my life like a programmer, striving to always get my code perfect. The most efficient and best way possible, so my output makes everyone go "WOW". How do you code the perfect code in life?
What language does the brain speak?

The answer in my mind will be - none, our brain is universal, just a tool. We can all be whatever we want to be, but our own inner ambition is actually making us fail ourselves, by doubting our abilities and not imagineing the unthinkable. But there is always some rarities, that is created different, that is able to make the jump. That have so much belief in themselves and their projects, that anything other than success is unthinkable, failure is not an option.
"Cars WILL be the number one transport vehicle", "Computers ARE the future".

The majority is always wrong, and you are always right.

This leads onto the familiar pitch of dating, the never-ending story of getting someone to respect you, to love you, to rise you up and give you a boost to fulfill your dreams. Our physical and mental construction are made for intimacy, without it we are slowly petrifying, decaying - turning into a vegetable. But how do one make this happen?

I don't think there will ever be possible to turn this into a working algorithm - a block of code. We are all individuals who do not act alike, but our society defines us as a teamworking species, using the same protocols. Therein lies the problem, what happens when a individual is born with a different protocol, how do you connect to the world wide web of intimacy without an IP-Adress?

Of course, you can always try to change, fake your own IP-Adress, but that would be the same as trying to learn to Urdu, and convince yourself that its your native language. For those of us who have this problem, fulfilling the everlasting need of intimacy is pure luck.
As long as nothing is happening you start to feel every muscle in your body aching to be used, to be touched, but at the same time you start to get afraid of the same thing - you become your own paradox.

The solution is to do something you can't accomplish. Its like locking your carkeys inside the car, the only way to get to your keys, is to use them to unlock the door.
I find myself in this situation, only I know I will eventually learn how to decipher the unfamiliar protocol through time, and brute force. Not unlike the carkey situation, you know if you try long enough you will eventually pick the doorlock and get to the keys, but the question is, do you have the time to wait that long?
Now its time to introduce luck - a friend who helps you, a service station who opens the door, or you just find yourself lucky enough that the trunk was open and climb into the car that way.

Ask anyone who has ever found someone they match seamlessly perfectly with, how they did it - 9/10 will answer some random occation, or a long string of happenings that eventually turned out the right way.
Each day, you have the potential to make a lifechanging connection, everything that happens, every person you meet, every word you say, is a choice. Each choice has its own path, which path is the right one?

What would my life be if I hadn't chosen this school, if I hadn't gotten a certain job, if I were sick that day..etc.. Just one minor change is enough to alter your life forever.
We as humans - persons, individuals are never better than our own experiences, tell a person not to drink and drive, and it won't have any effect. But let the same person experience death as a result of drinking and driving, and he will never do it again.

Try to recall a big happening in your life, and then redraw everything that happened at exactly that crossroad, make a list of atleast 10 different choices you could have made up until that moment. How many of those paths do you think would have given you exactly the right level of experience to make the same choice you made?
The possibilites are endless and the answers are infinite.

"....to boldy go where no man has ever gone before".

My new key to happiness, is to meditate my heart and soul, to always look for uncharted territory and walk straight into it with my head up high. And that is exactly what I intend to do.


"....space, the final frontier".



-Øyvind.